When this blog began, the focus was to offer some encouragement, support and hope that a Christ follower’s life would not be found or bound, in the walls of a building called church. It was simple; coming together meant having something worthwhile to say, as well as something worthwhile to learn.
Although that premise holds true today, the focus has shifted to building a close personal relationship with the godhead. In the early days of that focus, it was a close personal relationship with God; because the awareness of being close to each person in the trinity was not revealed.
The focus of the blog remains the same, to offer some encouragement, support, and hope to the Christ follower—even if that Christ follower has walked away from the traditional church structure. However, a shift is taking place, in that it is becoming more about my challenges and struggles in this journey. In the past, I have mentioned these things, but it appears the nature of the blog is trending that way.
I say this for several reasons; the first being, this blog is not about me. I have no problem writing about my struggles and how the Lord shows up to overcome them. I am challenged with people thinking that I am something that I am not. The Apostle Paul writes about this in his personal journey. He mentions knowing, longing to do the right thing, only to do the wrong thing. He says that the spirit part of his life knows the right thing to do, only to be overridden by the fleshly—carnal—part of his life doing the wrong thing. In the language of the King James Bible, he puts it this way, “Oh wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from the body of this death?”
The second reason I struggle with this shift, is that my journey is my journey; it may not at all be like your journey. Human nature is such, that we compare ourselves with others. This comparison is dangerous because it only produces failure. For one, it could be the failure of disappointment—I could never do that, or be like that—so he or she quits. For other’s it could be the challenge to compete—if he or she can do it, I can do it to—which is borne of the carnal nature. It glorifies self rather than God.
Having said that, IF someone sees themselves on a similar path—let’s say, unhappy with the traditional church structure—and begins reading the early days of this blog, then, perhaps, some encouragement, support and hope could be found in following along. This is why the blog was originally structured the way it was.
Let me add this disclaimer. I am not, nor is this blog, anti-church. I gave over 20-years of my life to the matrix. I have passionately proclaimed, “doing” many of the things I now do not agree with. There will always be a traditional (matrix) church. In 2008, God introduced me to a journey, while I was very much in the matrix.
All of that to say, that one thing I am realizing about this close personal relationship with the godhead—God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit—is learning how to let go. The message that the Apostle Paul conveys in the New Testament book of Romans—the one mentioned earlier—speaks to this. His statement, “Oh wretched man that I am,” conveys his struggle with doing what is righteous verses what is convenient—or perhaps what is comfortable.
As this journey has moved forward, I have gained a greater awareness of the presence of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit—the three persons of the godhead. I have come to understand—in part—the presence of each in my life. It is an amazing awareness. I can tell that a growing longing to be close to God is both present and growing.
It is important to understand that this has been years in the making. This journey began in 2008, and it was around 2014 before such awareness was made known to me. This is my concern in sharing this. This awareness could happen sooner for you, or not at all. If it happens sooner, greater, but if it never happens, it does not mean that you have failed. It could simply mean that your journey took you on a different path to closeness with the godhead.
I imagine the challenge I am facing in learning how to let go, is something like the challenges the Apostle Paul faced. He saw the right way, but fell short, and it greatly upset him. At least this is how I feel when I miss the mark.